Early this evening I noticed that the conditions looked good for a rainbow. My kids were immersed in games so I told them I was just popping out to the street to see if I could spot one. They leapt to their feet to join me.
We were excited to spy a skerrick. Was it forming or was that all that there would be?
Rainbows are one of our ways of feeling connected to love, to each other and especially to Mick, my late husband and my children’s father.
Both kids snuggled into me lovingly.
The rainbow became more vivid.
A full arc slowly formed.
My mind wandered over the events of the past twenty-four hours. The times that I had deeply felt Mick’s absence. Like the patchy weather, my emotions had been mixed. Sunny, then cloudy and grey.
We had spent the evening before with Mick’s dear mates. Friday night drinks and a kids disco. It was great fun but I missed Mick’s laugh and banter.
This morning, a bush walk and swim in the harbour. Mick would have enjoyed being with us as we swam, splashed, skimmed stones, climbed trees and clambered on rocks.
Later we attended orientation for my daughter to play girls soccer this season. We picked up her gear and met some of the team. Mick loved playing soccer in his youth. He would be so proud and excited. Especially given she is keen to return to the sport after a few years break. If he was here he would have volunteered to fill the empty coach spot.
At lunch time, my son happened upon a pinball machine which had unlimited free games. He became engrossed. I was surprised when he managed to master the flippers and score multi balls and bonus points.
Just like his Dad.
Mick whiled away many hour at a pinball machine. How I wished that they could play the machine together.
In the afternoon, we played handball at school. Mick would be relieved to know that our son can now hold his own on the court and is playing handball at school every day. We talked about the school cross-country route. Then the kids ran part of the course. Mick loved to run.
Why isn’t Mick here with us? Why didn’t he get a chance to be a father for longer?
We walked to the top of the street to see if we could get a better view. The rainbow became more and more vivid. We noticed a mirror rainbow, a double, start to form. We smiled watching the spectacle unfold.
My daughter rushed back home to collect my phone so we could take a photo. There was a message from a neighbourhood bestie. She knows rainbows are significant to us. A selfie of her in front of the rainbow. Smiling and sending her love. A bestie who every Monday asks me how my weekend was. She keeps me grounded and strong – nourishing me by listening, giggling, sharing stories and pots of tea.
Every time a friend sees a rainbow they send me a photo, reminding me of their love for us.
We are not alone. We are blessed with many dear friends.
As the rainbow started to fade both kids gave me one last squeeze, then half scampered, half danced back to our home.
I closed my eyes and breathed deeply.
The kids and I hadn’t mentioned Mick.
We didn’t need to. I had mentioned him during the events of the day.
He was deep in our thoughts and hearts.
Instead we enjoyed being together present for the magic of the rainbow.
We will keep on living, loving and dancing. Every day.