Moment to moment

I went for a walk at the beach today and decided to have Mick's favourite ice cream - Ben and Jerry's triple caramel chunk (known in the UK as triple caramel chew chew). Mick died 8 years ago on this day. As I crossed the road to the beach - a rainbow greeted me.

Autumn Again

At dawn you peacefully and quietly took your last breath. Our daughter felt it. She woke wailing. I rushed to her room and took her outside. Trying not to disturb our son who was still sleeping or your father who was resting on a mattress on the floor - by your side until the very... Continue Reading →

Facing Father’s Day

With tears streaming she looked at me through the net of the trampoline.┬áTrembling she said "I dont think I can do it. It will be too sad." I nodded. A few tears also trickled from my eyes. It was the day before Father's day. My ten year old daughter had been jumping to burn off... Continue Reading →

All was not lost

Seven years ago, winter had just begun and my family and I started to see brilliant rainbows. It was the last few days of Mick's time with us here in this life. He was drifting into a deep state of unconsciousness. It was clear that the end was close. I was about to lose my... Continue Reading →

Rainbow Messages

As we returned home last night I looked at the sky and said to the kids, "It looks like rainbow weather." They agreed. A big storm had passed through a few hours earlier. There were still dark clouds about but they were beginning to clear. ┬áThe grey light was bright. Sunlight was returning. We scoured... Continue Reading →

How can I help?

There are often many people at a funeral who desperately want to tangibly help and support the bereaved family but they are not sure what they can do. Especially long lost friends, distant family, old work colleagues etc. At the time of the funeral, the bereaved family are usually well supported by their closest friends... Continue Reading →

We will be okay

It's that's time of year. The end of the school year and the anticipation of Christmas. Many moments for the kids and I to deeply feel Mick's absence. Mick wasn't with me at the school presentation assembly today to watch our son collect two awards associated with the coding program. He never got to go... Continue Reading →

What could have been and what is

I think about what could have been if it wasn't for brain cancer. Where would we be? How would we as a couple have fared? How would our relationship have grown and deepened? What do I miss? It is easier to think about all the things I dont miss. Smelly feet. Sweaty unwashed gym gear.... Continue Reading →

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