Clare Smart. Celebrant and Blogger: Life as a Brain Cancer Carer then Young Widow/Solo Parent
I watch from the window as our trampoline is dismantled. The net has a tear. Rust has appeared here and there. A pole has popped out of the net. It was installed on the first anniversary after Mick died. In the middle of winter. First jumped on that evening to squeals of delight. I supervised... Continue Reading →
Here we go again. December. End of school year celebrations. Milestones. Preparing for Christmas. Family catch ups. Special friend catch ups. We see and hear from those we love. How are we are doing? We are doing great. And the shadow of grief? The ache and feeling of loss that is constantly within us. It is humming... Continue Reading →
There are often many people at a funeral who desperately want to tangibly help and support the bereaved family but they are not sure what they can do. Especially long lost friends, distant family, old work colleagues etc. At the time of the funeral, the bereaved family are usually well supported by their closest friends... Continue Reading →
My experience of my late husband's last few weeks at home. Everyone turned to me. It was ultimately my decision. Would my husband die in a hospital or at home? My in-laws, my brother, a couple of friends and the social worker all looked at me expectantly. We were standing on the back deck where... Continue Reading →
Every December one of my yoga teachers reiterates my favourite Christmas greeting which is Peace, Joy and Love by guiding us through a version of a loving kindness meditation. The meditation involves practicing compassion and love to one's self and then mentally sending goodwill, kindness, and love to others by silently repeating a series of mantras. Following... Continue Reading →
How I supported my young children in their grief by listening, adapting and utilsing play therapy.
As a terminal cancer carer, how to remain grounded and practice self care but at the same time remain linked to everyone and keep everyone updated?
It was heart wrenching explaining to my four year old daughter over and over again that Daddy's body had been turned to ashes. That he was not coming home.
I needed to make a plan for where to place to my husband's ashes and arrange a ceremony to help connect my children to his place of rest.
I had always hoped that I was psychologically strong enough, resilient enough and optimistic enough to cope with life's challenges without needing to see a counsellor. However, when a curveball of cancer knocked my young family off course, I conceded after some time that I needed to subdue my ego and seek counselling. Counselling sessions became a... Continue Reading →
Rainbows & Rollercoasters 