Clare Smart. Celebrant and Blogger: Life as a Brain Cancer Carer then Young Widow/Solo Parent
My experience of my late husband's last few weeks at home. Everyone turned to me. It was ultimately my decision. Would my husband die in a hospital or at home? My in-laws, my brother, a couple of friends and the social worker all looked at me expectantly. We were standing on the back deck where... Continue Reading →
As a terminal cancer carer, how to remain grounded and practice self care but at the same time remain linked to everyone and keep everyone updated?
When I gave my late husband, Mick, a pair of thongs (flip-flops) for Christmas I had no idea that they would become one of the most loathed objects in my life. So much so, that three and half years later when Mick died from brain cancer, I immediately collected the thongs and hurled them into... Continue Reading →
When I became a young widow and single mum, I tried to return to my default way of living - before children and before cancer. It was: Achieve, Control, Independence, Busyness. I found that returning to that way of living was impossible. It took me a while to listen to my heart whisper "Surrender and Trust". A... Continue Reading →
I had always hoped that I was psychologically strong enough, resilient enough and optimistic enough to cope with life's challenges without needing to see a counsellor. However, when a curveball of cancer knocked my young family off course, I conceded after some time that I needed to subdue my ego and seek counselling. Counselling sessions became a... Continue Reading →
Just a few weeks ago when my father was dying, I dropped my kids off to school and before I went to his bedside – I went for a snorkel. It felt incongruous that in the last few days of his life I would choose to play. But I did and I am glad I... Continue Reading →
When you have young children, you meet people all the time through playgroups/daycare and then another new community when children start school. It is a time in your life when you usually share a lot of information about yourself to build friendships and support networks. You disclose what you do for work, how you live and from that you find commonalities. My husband and I had a significant difference to other parents that we met. We were riding the terminal brain cancer roller coaster.
Responding to "How are you?" & why I was grateful that widows no longer wear black. Exchanging simple every day greetings of “Hello and how are you?” often felt excruciating when I was caring for my husband as he was dying and then when I was recently widowed and intensely grieving. I realised that for... Continue Reading →
Acupuncture became essential in keeping me well while balancing three challenging roles: brain cancer carer , mother of a newborn and a toddler Corporate Commercial Manager and then as a young widow and single parent. At different stages I developed chronic eczema on my face, alopecia (bald spots with hair falling out), tight muscles in my neck and shoulders,... Continue Reading →
Rainbows & Rollercoasters 