Clare Smart. Celebrant and Blogger: Life as a Brain Cancer Carer then Young Widow/Solo Parent
At dawn you peacefully and quietly took your last breath. Our daughter felt it. She woke wailing. I rushed to her room and took her outside. Trying not to disturb our son who was still sleeping or your father who was resting on a mattress on the floor - by your side until the very... Continue Reading →
Here we go again. December. End of school year celebrations. Milestones. Preparing for Christmas. Family catch ups. Special friend catch ups. We see and hear from those we love. How are we are doing? We are doing great. And the shadow of grief? The ache and feeling of loss that is constantly within us. It is humming... Continue Reading →
If I'm not careful, I become a grinch at Christmas time. My emotions can get the better of me. I support myself and the kids using several strategies and traditions so that despite our loss we feel connected, loved, grateful and cheerful throughout the lead up to Christmas and on the day itself.
I experienced time travel yesterday. It was intense and life affirming. It happened while I was attending a reunion morning tea at the pre-school my son last attended in 2012. The same year that my late husband died from brain cancer. My son was four and half years old and his sister was three. Now... Continue Reading →
What have I gleaned from my experience of the loss of my late husband that can ground me as I now grieve for the more recent loss of my father?
What do you do when dreams bring to light some of your thoughts and questions from your subconscious? Since my late husband died, I have had several confronting, poignant dreams that have prompted me to face truths and emotions. One particularly unsettling dream occurred several times. This is what happened. My recurring dream My late... Continue Reading →
I am proud of my 8 year old daughter. Yesterday she was brave. In the face of loss and grief she chose love, kindness, creativity, compassion and gratitude. She lost her father five years ago to brain cancer when she was just three years old. Her grandfather (my father) died from Alzheimers disease three months... Continue Reading →
I had always hoped that I was psychologically strong enough, resilient enough and optimistic enough to cope with life's challenges without needing to see a counsellor. However, when a curveball of cancer knocked my young family off course, I conceded after some time that I needed to subdue my ego and seek counselling. Counselling sessions became a... Continue Reading →
Allowing chinks in the armor protecting my heart. Dating as a young widow. Also published in Elephant Journal - as "How to Love A Widow"
Rainbows & Rollercoasters 