What could have been and what is

I think about what could have been if it wasn't for brain cancer. Where would we be? How would we as a couple have fared? How would our relationship have grown and deepened? What do I miss? It is easier to think about all the things I dont miss. Smelly feet. Sweaty unwashed gym gear.... Continue Reading →

Finding our way through Father’s Day

I often feel sadness, anger and loss most intensely in the lead up to an anniversary or a day like Father's Day rather than on the day itself. On the day I hold my breath hoping that the children and I will be okay. Then on the days following - like today - I exhale... Continue Reading →

Forty Five

Last week the kids and I stopped by McDonald's for an extremely unhealthy lunch of french fries dipped in a caramel sundae. Yeurk! I shudder now thinking of all the sickening sugar, salt and fat. Yet at the time it was just the thing. The kids smiled with glee at the decadence and complete abandon of... Continue Reading →

Quietly acknowledging six years

The June long weekend marked six years since Mick died. Six years. Two thirds of our daughter's life. About the same percentage for our son. We didn't celebrate the anniversary but we did acknowledge it. Through conversations and quiet gatherings, we paused with family and friends to remember Mick, acknowledge our loss and that challenging... Continue Reading →

Coping at Christmas time

If I'm not careful, I become a grinch at Christmas time. My emotions can get the better of me. I support myself and the kids using several strategies and traditions so that despite our loss we feel connected, loved, grateful and cheerful throughout the lead up to Christmas and on the day itself. 

Father’s Day – Blessings to all those who will be brave

I am proud of my 8 year old daughter. Yesterday she was brave. In the face of loss and grief she chose love, kindness, creativity, compassion and gratitude. She lost her father five years ago to brain cancer when she was just three years old. Her grandfather (my father) died from Alzheimers disease three months... Continue Reading →

The First Anniversary & Our Remembrance Tree (Choosing a place of rest and supporting my children)

It was heart wrenching explaining to my four year old daughter over and over again that Daddy's body had been turned to ashes. That he was not coming home. I needed to make a plan for where to place to my husband's ashes and arrange a ceremony to help connect my children to his place of rest.

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