With tears streaming she looked at me through the net of the trampoline. Trembling she said "I dont think I can do it. It will be too sad." I nodded. A few tears also trickled from my eyes. It was the day before Father's day. My ten year old daughter had been jumping to burn off... Continue Reading →
Seven years ago, winter had just begun and my family and I started to see brilliant rainbows. It was the last few days of Mick's time with us here in this life. He was drifting into a deep state of unconsciousness. It was clear that the end was close. I was about to lose my... Continue Reading →
I think about what could have been if it wasn't for brain cancer. Where would we be? How would we as a couple have fared? How would our relationship have grown and deepened? What do I miss? It is easier to think about all the things I dont miss. Smelly feet. Sweaty unwashed gym gear.... Continue Reading →
I often feel sadness, anger and loss most intensely in the lead up to an anniversary or a day like Father's Day rather than on the day itself. On the day I hold my breath hoping that the children and I will be okay. Then on the days following - like today - I exhale... Continue Reading →
Last week the kids and I stopped by McDonald's for an extremely unhealthy lunch of french fries dipped in a caramel sundae. Yeurk! I shudder now thinking of all the sickening sugar, salt and fat. Yet at the time it was just the thing. The kids smiled with glee at the decadence and complete abandon of... Continue Reading →
The June long weekend marked six years since Mick died. Six years. Two thirds of our daughter's life. About the same percentage for our son. We didn't celebrate the anniversary but we did acknowledge it. Through conversations and quiet gatherings, we paused with family and friends to remember Mick, acknowledge our loss and that challenging... Continue Reading →
If I'm not careful, I become a grinch at Christmas time. My emotions can get the better of me. I support myself and the kids using several strategies and traditions so that despite our loss we feel connected, loved, grateful and cheerful throughout the lead up to Christmas and on the day itself.
I am proud of my 8 year old daughter. Yesterday she was brave. In the face of loss and grief she chose love, kindness, creativity, compassion and gratitude. She lost her father five years ago to brain cancer when she was just three years old. Her grandfather (my father) died from Alzheimers disease three months... Continue Reading →