Just a few weeks ago when my father was dying, I dropped my kids off to school and before I went to his bedside – I went for a snorkel. It felt incongruous that in the last few days of his life I would choose to play. But I did and I am glad I... Continue Reading →
How many years can you operate in overdrive before finding that your energy tank (both physical and emotional energy) is at or close to empty? And then how long does it take to recover and refuel? I started considering these questions in my second year of grief. My body had minimal energy and all that was possible was the most... Continue Reading →
When you have young children, you meet people all the time through playgroups/daycare and then another new community when children start school. It is a time in your life when you usually share a lot of information about yourself to build friendships and support networks. You disclose what you do for work, how you live and from that you find commonalities. My husband and I had a significant difference to other parents that we met. We were riding the terminal brain cancer roller coaster.
I am inspired by the strong beautiful eucalyptus trees that I see every day - they seem to be continually shedding bark. As I release what was once protective "strips of bark" the process is usually messy. It takes a while to unravel and untangle each strand. It feels revealing, exposing vulnerabilities and new layers of myself. Yet it also feels freeing and liberating. As each layer peels away I find shiny colourful new bark ready for new connections and more growth.
It took me several years to acknowledge the residual anger that I had following the diagnosis of my husband with brain cancer and his eventual death. I was a young widow with two young children and the life that I had envisaged was no longer possible. I had layer upon layer of anger that I resisted expressing.... Continue Reading →