Clare Smart. Celebrant and Blogger: Life as a Brain Cancer Carer then Young Widow/Solo Parent
Mick would have been 50 today - Im not sure “Happy Birthday” is the right term. Today was a mixture of anger, gratitude, resolve, shock, love and memories. I could probably list 50 things Im angry about … here are a few. Mick is not here to grow older, wrinklier and greyer with me while... Continue Reading →
... it is time to let go and lean in to some of the pain and stories again.
I watch from the window as our trampoline is dismantled. The net has a tear. Rust has appeared here and there. A pole has popped out of the net. It was installed on the first anniversary after Mick died. In the middle of winter. First jumped on that evening to squeals of delight. I supervised... Continue Reading →
I shared my story at the Story Room last Tuesday night. To recognise my contribution the Story Room have made a donation to the Mark Hughes Foundation on my behalf. Thank you @Storyroomaus and founder @Karenlsander. Sadly finding a cure to brain cancer is still a long way off. When Mick died the outlook for... Continue Reading →
I wish I could say "Ask your Dad" or "I've had enough - can you take care of this?" or "That's your department". All the tough moments, the juggling, the responsibility is mine. I am a solo parent. I've got to say I've got this. I'm here. I'll sort this. I'll do it. I'll figure... Continue Reading →
A friend checked in with me a week ago anticipating the anniversary tomorrow. The day Mick died. It will be ten years. She said “I’m sure the pain never stops”. She’s right. She also asked after me and the kids. It felt good to be able to say we are good. Actually not good -... Continue Reading →
My children love hosting Christmas. It is wondrous to me that they do. Two special men will be missed. This will be the tenth Christmas that we have hosted without my late husband, Mick. The fourth Christmas since Dad passed. Their absence will be deeply felt amongst the frivolity. We continue to celebrate with Mick's... Continue Reading →
A day like today ...
Most days I miss you in moments. When our son laughs or our daughter wants an extra hug. When a memory arises that I can no longer share with you or when our children reach a milestone or make me proud. When a headline or seeing one of our friends reminds me that you arent... Continue Reading →
Rainbows & Rollercoasters 