Clare Smart. Celebrant and Blogger: Life as a Brain Cancer Carer then Young Widow/Solo Parent
My children love hosting Christmas. It is wondrous to me that they do. Two special men will be missed. This will be the tenth Christmas that we have hosted without my late husband, Mick. The fourth Christmas since Dad passed. Their absence will be deeply felt amongst the frivolity. We continue to celebrate with Mick's... Continue Reading →
Most days I miss you in moments. When our son laughs or our daughter wants an extra hug. When a memory arises that I can no longer share with you or when our children reach a milestone or make me proud. When a headline or seeing one of our friends reminds me that you arent... Continue Reading →
I think about what could have been if it wasn't for brain cancer. Where would we be? How would we as a couple have fared? How would our relationship have grown and deepened? What do I miss? It is easier to think about all the things I dont miss. Smelly feet. Sweaty unwashed gym gear.... Continue Reading →
I often feel sadness, anger and loss most intensely in the lead up to an anniversary or a day like Father's Day rather than on the day itself. On the day I hold my breath hoping that the children and I will be okay. Then on the days following - like today - I exhale... Continue Reading →
Last week the kids and I stopped by McDonald's for an extremely unhealthy lunch of french fries dipped in a caramel sundae. Yeurk! I shudder now thinking of all the sickening sugar, salt and fat. Yet at the time it was just the thing. The kids smiled with glee at the decadence and complete abandon of... Continue Reading →
My experience of my late husband's last few weeks at home. Everyone turned to me. It was ultimately my decision. Would my husband die in a hospital or at home? My in-laws, my brother, a couple of friends and the social worker all looked at me expectantly. We were standing on the back deck where... Continue Reading →
A thank you letter to all my friends, old and new, near and far, who laugh with me and love me as I am. Dear friends Here I am. On the other side of great change. Each one of you has been a pillar of support. Steadfast. Offering unconditional, inspiring, heartening love. You've watched me or... Continue Reading →
Sometimes relationships don’t last. I parted ways with my boyfriend a few months ago. I will always be grateful for our time together. Grateful for everything I rediscovered and learnt about love, myself and the wonderful world. It was a ride full of fun, energy and adventures. For me and my children. I will date... Continue Reading →
A short poem about removing my wedding rings.
Rainbows & Rollercoasters 