I think about what could have been if it wasn't for brain cancer. Where would we be? How would we as a couple have fared? How would our relationship have grown and deepened? What do I miss? It is easier to think about all the things I dont miss. Smelly feet. Sweaty unwashed gym gear.... Continue Reading →
I often feel sadness, anger and loss most intensely in the lead up to an anniversary or a day like Father's Day rather than on the day itself. On the day I hold my breath hoping that the children and I will be okay. Then on the days following - like today - I exhale... Continue Reading →
Last week the kids and I stopped by McDonald's for an extremely unhealthy lunch of french fries dipped in a caramel sundae. Yeurk! I shudder now thinking of all the sickening sugar, salt and fat. Yet at the time it was just the thing. The kids smiled with glee at the decadence and complete abandon of... Continue Reading →
My experience of my late husband's last few weeks at home. Everyone turned to me. It was ultimately my decision. Would my husband die in a hospital or at home? My in-laws, my brother, a couple of friends and the social worker all looked at me expectantly. We were standing on the back deck where... Continue Reading →
A thank you letter to all my friends, old and new, near and far, who laugh with me and love me as I am. Dear friends Here I am. On the other side of great change. Each one of you has been a pillar of support. Steadfast. Offering unconditional, inspiring, heartening love. You've watched me or... Continue Reading →
Sometimes relationships don’t last. I parted ways with my boyfriend a few months ago. I will always be grateful for our time together. Grateful for everything I rediscovered and learnt about love, myself and the wonderful world. It was a ride full of fun, energy and adventures. For me and my children. I will date... Continue Reading →
What have I gleaned from my experience of the loss of my late husband that can ground me as I now grieve for the more recent loss of my father?
I am proud of my 8 year old daughter. Yesterday she was brave. In the face of loss and grief she chose love, kindness, creativity, compassion and gratitude. She lost her father five years ago to brain cancer when she was just three years old. Her grandfather (my father) died from Alzheimers disease three months... Continue Reading →