Clare Smart. Celebrant and Blogger: Life as a Brain Cancer Carer then Young Widow/Solo Parent
At dawn you peacefully and quietly took your last breath. Our daughter felt it. She woke wailing. I rushed to her room and took her outside. Trying not to disturb our son who was still sleeping or your father who was resting on a mattress on the floor - by your side until the very... Continue Reading →
My priorities and identity shifted from career in my twenties to carer in my thirties. It was a significant and challenging adjustment. Career to carer. From two decades studying then achieving and progressing in the corporate world, to a decade of caring. Caring for my young children and caring for Mick with terminal brain cancer.... Continue Reading →
What have I gleaned from my experience of the loss of my late husband that can ground me as I now grieve for the more recent loss of my father?
What do you do when dreams bring to light some of your thoughts and questions from your subconscious? Since my late husband died, I have had several confronting, poignant dreams that have prompted me to face truths and emotions. One particularly unsettling dream occurred several times. This is what happened. My recurring dream My late... Continue Reading →
I am proud of my 8 year old daughter. Yesterday she was brave. In the face of loss and grief she chose love, kindness, creativity, compassion and gratitude. She lost her father five years ago to brain cancer when she was just three years old. Her grandfather (my father) died from Alzheimers disease three months... Continue Reading →
Most days I write about and reflect upon emotion-full memories. Frivolity as a counter balance is essential.
(Also published on Women's spiritual poetry blog) If I could step back in time to the day when my young husband (36 years of age) was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer, what would I tell myself? What would I tell the ambitious, independent, achievement focused, busy young woman who was trying to balance starting a family... Continue Reading →
I had always hoped that I was psychologically strong enough, resilient enough and optimistic enough to cope with life's challenges without needing to see a counsellor. However, when a curveball of cancer knocked my young family off course, I conceded after some time that I needed to subdue my ego and seek counselling. Counselling sessions became a... Continue Reading →
Just a few weeks ago when my father was dying, I dropped my kids off to school and before I went to his bedside – I went for a snorkel. It felt incongruous that in the last few days of his life I would choose to play. But I did and I am glad I... Continue Reading →
Rainbows & Rollercoasters 