Most days I miss you in moments.
When our son laughs
or our daughter wants an extra hug.
When a memory arises
that I can no longer share with you
or when our children reach a milestone
or make me proud.
When a headline
or seeing one of our friends
reminds me that you arent here.
I can’t seek your thoughts or opinion.
You didn’t get the chance to age
or see the world change.
our loss overwhelms me.
An inescapable irrefutable sadness.
You are not here.
Our shared dreams for the future,
to raise our children,
support each other,
and grow older together,
and I feel robbed of hope and trust in life.
How can such things happen?
Every moment of joy and love
Sometimes laden with gravitas.
Sometimes laced with the bittersweet.
Loss can and does happen
to us all.
I get to live.
I am here.
Maybe tomorrow I will feel lighter again.
Most days are sunnier now.
I will keep leaning in
for our children
and for me.
Embracing and feeling it all.